The Rakhi Disarray

<Logged in after long> 
<Clearing all the drafts and consolidating my scribbles strewn all over>
<Posting those that don't make me look totally insane>

Rakhi Purnima, the tradition that has always been close to the hearts of all the brothers and sisters, cutting across regions in the country, the market is on a boom and the courier traffic becomes fussy, well the season is here now. Though I grew up in South India where Rakhi was and is never given much of an importance as in comparison to the North Indian traditions, the brother-sister relationship has been eulogised widely from the then Raktha Sambandham till the recent releases like the Rakhi both in cinema and in family circles,appropriately and adequately. Also a decently long acquaintance with, and exposure to the North Indian culture has helped me develop a habit, to send a Rakhi through post, every year.

Mythology says that Lord Ganesh conceded to the demands of his two sons Shubh and Labh, creating Santoshi Ma from out of the divine flames that emerged from Siddhi and Riddhi. But I am sure they did not have a cartoon Rakhi tied round their wrist as a symbol of protection and surely, they did not exchange illustrated, folded cards featuring sentiment.

Call me old-fashioned, but all that the market offered me was cosmetic-tradition this year. It was harder to find an appropriate Rakhi than ever before. I spent four hours in the market searching for a traditional, appropriate Rakhi, but all in vain, I wanted to send my brother one of those with a gold foil that are bigger than his wrist. When in school, as far as I recall, the guys in our class used to parade the big Rakhis, a proud show off it was. They also used to have those petty contests on who had the maximum number of Rakhi, it was fun. But now, all I get is the small threads fallibly bound together with a little pendant in the middle. Washy and weak were all the models I got. Apparently, they call it ‘re-inventing Rakhi’ these days, giving them a Royal touch. Royal touch, one can live with but it was more than just that, I saw a Doremon Rakhi during my quests in the market, may be that is what is called Indianizing Modern market! Emphatically, I can never call them the sacred threads of protection embellished with the love and affection of a sister for her brother and definitely, can never call it the iron chain that binds the relationship strong. Having fun models and encouraging the designers’ innovation is, well, desirable. It can be a perceivable change one can make peace with, but transforming it as a whole! While it is like this I have to mention a friend of mine who hates the tradition of Rakhi, just because he feels that, once he gets a Rakhi tied round his wrist he is accepting that his sister is weak and needs protection. And he does not like that! One hell of a feminist he is! And I admire that.. Well, I'd say, As it is brothers and sisters these days seldom meet in person, it is all a virtual space meeting and sharing through couriers and e-mails and unfortunately, that also cannot be gotten right. I know it is not about the ‘look’, it is about keeping the culture alive, but why replace it when you can just have an add-on.  After a painstakingly long ordeal in the market all I got was a fancily fragile Rakhi that was a little bigger than the others. Trust me when I say, I had a difficulty in finding the ones that looked remotely traditional with the right colours put in. It actually gets worse. The incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs is, now that the Friendship Day is here, just days away from Rakshabandhan, it is getting harder and harder to differentiate between the two, Rakhi and the Friendship bands. What my brother gets tied around his wrist today is the same as what I might get three days later, but only, they are friends. So it is all relative. If it is a family member and you tie on the full moon day, it is a Rakhi and if it is around your wrist three days later, you are a friend. I was checking my Facebook profile the other day pictures with traditional wristbands with a pooja thali carefully clicked with studio lightings and digitally edited text on the image wishing Rakshabandhan and a similar wrist band with no pooja thali, wishing Friendship day celebrations, being widely circulated made me laugh. Now that the market determines not to waste its preconceived production, it is time we bid farewell to the traditional designs and it will be much better if stop differentiating between the two. Let me leave it at, happy celebrations, whatever is round your wrist!

PS:: That friend of mine I was telling, and me, though contradicting each other in every aspect possible, have common feelings towards friendship day.. Everyday is a friendship day,friends are an inevitable part of who you are,you think there is a necessity,other than market, to have a friendship day? Not that I don't warmly receive wishes, but what is the point? I love my friends and will love and live for them no matter what.. They know it! A band or a card need not prove that, and just one Sunday out of the 52(3) Sundays, can not definitely prove that enough.. Sometimes a moment is enough, sometimes a gesture is enough, sometimes a simple smile will do, to show how precious friends are..

Long Post Script huh? :P ;)

Like a 'Son', not a 'Princess'..

Let me put the first things first. I am a true feminist <bold,italic,underline>. But may be I must be careful while saying that, I am a selective feminist, true to ideology.I am not at all concerned/disquieted about the so called relationship crisis that the modern and ultra modern girls (no offence meant, as I really don't care of the strict sense of word-use here) today face in their feebly defined domains of 'love and relationships'(Most of my encounters ended where it mattered till it changed their relationship status on Facebook)! Sorry if I am being too harsh,but those are the instances I came across. I really pity the guys there,trust me,I have to, as I grew up with a bunch of awesome brothers who turned out to be just fine men now! 
Well,I am truly concerned about the actual feminist issues,that are malignant in today's society based on a highly inviolable patriarchal ideologies, not that I am striving to change the conditions but I can say,my thoughts waver around those once too frequently! Woohh!! I am getting too technical and ideological on you I guess.. Well.. there is one simple issue I wanted to really talk about. This post is strictly urban centric.Not at all in intention to hurt any feminists out there. You ll know!


Here goes,

I accompanied my friend to a mall(Ugh!) the other day, and came across a really regular, everyday incident that made me ponder over a little longer than I usually take notice of.. A father with his two children, a boy and a girl,came across one of his colleagues, introduced his kids..
"Hello Sir, this is my son!" <With a pat on the back>
"and this is my little princess" <with both his arms on her shoulder, protectively>
I felt that something different happened there, you may not agree with me! But then, yeah! When their dads introduce the daughters as princesses and the people compliment on her fragile delicacy, the pride a father gets! Yeah.. that is what that made me think..
Here, when a father does that, it subtly implants in the kid's mind..
She either wants to be someone's queen someday, or
She is accepting the fact that she is never going to be treated like a princess ever again. Yeah, and what is with all the sharing on Facebook, saying 'I am my dad's little princess' ?? People are really driving me crazy(Don't even get me started on the cute baby pictures..and sweet comments on them,that is a whole other story!!)I know it is not in the literal sense that they share all those, but really.. Really, what is this craze for the fantasy of being a princess?? They don't have a lot of fun, they don't have to 'earn' anything, all the things are destined to come to them. Fabricated socialization with ornate surroundings where there is never a hint of 'pain'(except for a rare few).. All that is there, is just the glory and grandeur.. Sounds utterly boring!! I did not even say anything of prima donna yet! Uff!! Being treated a princess, fine, I can understand.. Again,on Facebook, what is with this Twilight obsession! Rush of being soooo like Bella?!! No no.. It doesn't end there, you want him to be like Edward! Vampire craze! Seriously! Are you freaking kidding me?!!! First of, that is love at sight(doesn't matter first or whatever) anyways, hands down,that is like the worst love story I ever set my eyes on!


Yeah,yeah.. Getting carried away! Let me come back to the point.. that is where the whole problem starts..in her childhood. She wants her husband or her boyfriend to be more like her father, but it can never match to her expectations on par with the unconditional parental love. She wants him to change a lot in the process where after a while,he feels like he lost himself, may be that is why there is a tremendous lift in the breakups and divorce rates these days. So I think,The more you 'expect' to be treated like a princess, the less you have the chance of earning a sense of 'satisfaction, fun, accomplishment' ,right?


So it would not have been a problem if there was no protective patronage.. if the dad would have introduced her as "This is my daughter" <with a pat on the shoulder>. Like a Son, Not a Princess. After all.. everything that happens in childhood comes around in every phase.. It will always be an inevitable part of who you are, what you do, what you expect and how you perceive things everyday... Most importantly, how you sustain them!
That must have sounded like a really long and boring lecture on a petty issue, but this piece of writing here, is a product of the many frustrated moments I spent listening to my really close friends' so called 'relationship crisis' and patch ups.


We all know Karl Marx,but no one speaks about his aristocratic spouse,truly,I have immense respect for her,her passions and desire to keep them alive all through made her go a long way! #Passion #Admiration! I must say! Well,there is one good friend of mine who had a different story to share, as is to be noted, her father never introduced her to be princess, he loved her like he did his son, making her capable enough to deal with knowing what she wants, seriously, the lady has some clarity in what she wants. 
Well,clarity in 
Life,she makes it a point that her dreams are worth living and will gain her,someday, her own identity..
Love, that is not taken for granted,not defining 'status', while letting each other not lose their identity. It is nice that she knows the value of belonging during hardships, and that a person who is by your side when in pain is going to be with you,come what may, because.. you know, only love and suffering can reveal the most important secrets of life,rather than confining a relationship to gifts, fun and really long,mostly meaningless phone conversations! 
Marriage, trust me, she can make it work,always!! She has that self-chiseled charm in her that makes me look up on her dad as her real 'hero'.. Now I realize,may be it is not too bad growing up never being referred to as 'princess'.. I met nice people! Knock-on-the-wood! Don't want to jinx it..
If you did not get any of that, you need to get only this: Don't make your friends regret their long phone conversations with you, especially when they hate mobiles like me! Its time for some reality and toughness,and that means, the exact opposite of 'cute', 'sweet' and 'Bella-ey'!


PS: This was a result of a really bedevilling and persistently annoying phone call from a friend who has a 'relationship crisis'. I am irritated, and that is really rare.. So I thought I ll take full advantage of this frustration (Thanks to Emile Durkheim!!) and change my template too.. something dark you know.. looks like my taste always goes with minimalistic grunge and my love for blue :D Now now,I don't want to quetch more here.. So..


#Ravali Prasad Signing off! Adios!