Cheerful Zombies?

Four formal interactions later, when there was a subtle picture in-front of us as to how we would be down the lane in our career, one glaring and common advice I got from 8-9 officers, men and women was that 'You need to try and be cheerful!'

Between the Physical training that is extremely draining for a person who never in her life stepped into a gym and the puzzling law complexities,map readings and unarmed combats, there comes a point where there is a lot of excitement of what next while at the same time having the pain of enduring it.

While the system tries to hold on to many things that might not even make sense to a new comer like me, it also makes me cherish these moments all at the same time and sometimes even appreciate something very meaningless for an outsider, which I was,till a few months back.

For a highly nocturnal person waking up at 5 am could be the worst, doing that everyday and having to do things that are inevitably out of your hands makes you feel like a zombie, most of the days. A zombie that walks to the rhythms of Ek - Do- Ek.

Between the formal first impressions,the nasty second impressions and the acquaintances that might never turn into friendships, a glaring indeterminate future awaits us, and all the advise in the world one could get, is 'Stay Cheerful'.

How ,you ask??
I was searching for the answer for quite a while now.
It is difficult to put your finger on the answer when you search for an opportunity to learn in isolation too.Well, may be that is the challenge. None who advised me said 'Happy' everyone was careful enough to say 'Cheerful'. Ahh that blurry line between the two.. Well third time lost the charm and I ask why that particular word, to get the answer that cheer helps you get better at the job too, with 'Happy' you can't be so sure.

Then is when it struck me.. When you realize you don't have much of a choice, when you realize that you ll be pushed to expand your comfort zone to know your potential at any cost and when you realize that the element of surprise is only getting to be monotonous.. You go beyond surprise, frustration, anger, sadness.. All you have left is to grin and try to stay cheerful.. Because deep down, deep deep down, you know it is only making you better in many ways and is helping you guard what is precious in a more possessive way.

Speaking of  how to paste that grin on my face..  Those two friends I made, when they search for me just to say hi.. That does the trick!! Through all the uncertainties, aren't we all just looking for a gaze that means that someone's watching over??

Some day, the cheer will kick the zombie out, I am sure of that.. I can feel that happening already.

After all, Change is good!

Doubts

Doubts, yeah doubts. I have too many of them.

Is today's 'Education' really the panacea we are looking for? Or is there more?

Many things we need can wait, but the child can’t. To him, we can’t say ‘tomorrow’. Because his name is ‘today’. 

Lately, I realized, contemplating comes involuntarily most of the times. A wide smile that lights up a room doesn't always mean complete, absolute happiness. Change can be as minuscule as maximal it can be. But whatever it is, it is good. Because, yeah... I came to make peace with the notion that utopia is utter boredom,there always has to be some place for change. May be it is but an exaggeration, but I am here to throw light on what I came across recently, and I just got caught up there. May be I should get it out of my system to move on,so I write.

As always, I boil down every human problem to the only panacea I realized since childhood, and that was, is and I guess which always will be ‘Education’. I thought education can change everything, as much as I realize I was right I also realized I couldn't have been more wrong. I miss those days where we can run along the corridor, catch up with a teacher who is taller than you, just to ask a doubt.. So that she can bend down to listen and clarify what is bugging a tiny brain. I miss those days where you raise your hand to get the teacher’s attention just to ask a question so loud to be audible enough to get the doubt clarified. Yeah, back then, I had math doubts.. May be languages and sciences.. But now, I cannot even place some doubts into any genre and my mind doesn't stop blabbering. Well, 20 days at home a bunch of movies and awesome food, may be everyone gets many doubts.

• Change doesn't come to us running if we sit idle. It has got some ego, we need to go there and persuade it to come along and join us, and so is success. While we criticize ego, we try to hold on to it, as that is what gives us the identity we crave for,right?

• Whatever the change the visionaries have anticipated, and strove for, I speak now, actually, we speak now, with the benefit of hind sight that it is inadequate, but we take time to realize that it was relevant and that was what has helped us pave the way to reach this day. Why is it that change has never been overhauling? Why is it always in small doses? Is it like a medicine that the societal system can only take as much as it can agree?

• Just because you know it is panacea, it doesn't mean that it will be the right thing to follow blindly. Doing the right thing is not what matters. Doing the right thing right is what beckons change right into the lap. Every idea that is in shape has to be efficient.It is the idea that is the world around us. So we say, Action has to always accompany idea, so there is no such thing as a handicap right?

• Aspirations can never fall short. But they have to spend more time with action. What appears as the toughest time, as Aun San Suu Kyi said the other day is the time when you think success is round the corner, but sometimes, turning round seems like eternity. There are no short-cuts to truth are they?  Why is it that there is no end to where inspiration can take us?

• Does beauty really lie in the eyes that behold? Don’t you think, all our eyes are tied with the handcuffs of stereotyped socialization? Let me tell this small thing.. fair is beauty, dark is ugly or tall is appealing short is not. At least that is what is endorsed in the million dollar ads that are all around us. If it is so, then where does the eye have space,to make a choice of stamping something as beauty, without going into various apprehensions?

• Initially the bell had no religious symbolism. It was used to grab the attention of the masses. Mind is where things are born. Mind is wonderfully weird while being cautiously vibrant. How is it possible that it is always capable of rhetorically giving life to antonyms, while placing side by side, making conflict inevitable?
• Why is fear so timid? It ultimately takes the form of the brave,it succumbs, with no choice,none at all.

Yeah, I got all these ramblings shouting at me from inside my brain after I watched a bunch of movies. Hmm.. Of what, like, say 5 languages. I know, mind is one thing that never shuts up I guess. Well, here is the realization part, these days I answer everything with this: The Sword and Shield analogy.

Let me take 'Education', as I mentioned earlier. I am not here to endorse or criticize any government program. Because I always think that change that is eternal always comes from within and not from the external push. Education, as a shield, can only protect you from what you don’t want to be. It is rout.It can’t change anything, like we know.. It is memorizing and blurting out. A shield is incapable of inducing change. However, Education like a sword,creative, agile and intelligently adaptable, will protect you, while you shape your surroundings according to what you aspire. A sword, it is creative, dynamic and at the same time protectively hindering. It is not a dagger that kills. A sword moulds what is at your disposal to whatever is the best thing that could be at use right then, right there.

I could not help myself from applying that to 'Talking'. Talking, when used as a shield, is just a protection. It will not give you the dauntless valour to defend against the wrong. Most of the time, it makes you end up ignoring or overlooking it, just to appease to the surroundings. But, talking, as a sword it is one thing that empowers you, that is when you actually talk of the ideas, the vibrancy of the human mind is articulated. Furthermore, I could immerse myself in reasoning this analogy for Listening, smiling, relations and everything, and just when I was thinking, everything has two extreme ends of application,I realized,there is always a third option. Not the both, or may be the both. The sword and the shield. After all, the best wars were won where they all had utilized the both. Well, it is time to for us to get out of the stereo type education systems, and socialization. Well beyond the sword and the shield,there is always more to explore, that is where our vision should lead the light to. That is where we can say, aim of life, not of the dreams. Dreams always have the chance of ‘if’, if we really are here to aspire, I don’t think we can leave that little space. I hope, I made some sense, as this is going a little over my head right now. Or may be I have more doubts. 

Yeah true, now I realize it is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple.

I think it is time to say Night night now. Adios!

PS:: A really long hiatus beckons.Living sans technology is finally appealing to be fun. <Hibernation mode>

My new Monalisa

It is so unnatural that 2 years passed on blogger without me mentioning about 'My Precious!' I am a proud owner of a one Mister Canon PowerShot S5 IS. I go on occassional detours to pacify my enthusiasm in photography,how it developed is a whole other story involving a late night work for an SHG. May be I ll write another post for that sometime later. For now, this is dedicated to my camera! Hopefully, I ll be an owner of a DSLR soon enough. Fingers Crossed as there are miles to go...

I owe a post to my camera, which has been with me through all climates and all my moods,it has been my eyes, it has made my mental images come true,it gave me stories to write. It gave me people to speak to(Something really weird about me, I like it a lot when I speak to person who is a complete stranger and has nothing in common with me, when I try to 'speak' to people without making a snap judgement on seeing them or on knowing from where they are, and it is weird but I do speak to strangers a lot when I am with my camera).It introduced to me, a new me. It regulates my thought. It makes me paint with light. It makes me see things differently. It makes my surroundings so much more beautiful.. Ya! I guess I can do this for days. I know,I am not a professional, but,just get this 'My camera makes me complete!'


Haah! That is enough introduction about my post's protagonist. There is one incident I wanted to share.. The other day.. I went clicking to the park in the vicinity here, for my love for candid shots and what better than playful kids? A group of kids were playing and having fun, and I went to click, as it is, they were making fun of one of the girls in their gang, she had bugs bunny teeth, and whenever she was aware that the camera was on her, she stopped smiling, that made me sad. However, I came out of the park, and there was a kid selling balloons, and I wanted to have an icecream and also click balloons, so I started a conversation with him asking about his hometown(a village in U.P, he came to Delhi to earn for himself and his family), his aspirations and his income(mind me! :P he did not feel bad). He said that he wanted to be Shahrukh Khan,he had Bugsy teeth too,like the girl from the park, but when he started posing for the camera, he never clinched.. "Mast photo kheechna didi.. Mein Shahrukh jaisa dikhunga!!" He had a great , bright smile. I can't believe I am saying this, but it was brighter than sunshine, sweeter than honey. I hope he makes it to Bollywood someday. That day,  my camera made me re-learn something I had long forgotten, which my dad told me when I was teasing my cousin, for her rabbit teeth,yeah.. I know, as a kid, I was a pompous fool.. Well.. on a different note, here is what my dad taught me::


"There is no such thing like an ugly smile. Because, people don't smile with their teeth or lips, they smile with their eyes." That day, when I met the future Shahrukh(ya, I have decided), he made it a point, he proved it to me that life is bumping into you, new every moment, and we are to embrace the beauty of life with a smile.. It is not some 'Bugsy' name people give you or comment about your smile.. And my camera proved it! Every smile had life in it! Every picture had life in it. Now, I know why I click nature more often, nature is all smiles, be it summer, winter or monsoons. Now, I know why I click architecture more often,it smiles through the elbow grease of great artisans,and now, I know why I click more often, because there is no such thing like an 'Ugly smile'. That was the day when my dad told is when I decided, I will return a smile, whenever I see a glowing one,whether it is for me or not, I ll return it. I'd love to be the best smile merchant there ever was..

On an ending note, I would love to quote Phoebe Buffay::

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things "

#F.R.I.E.N.D.S


I don't know why, but this particular song always makes me smile. That day, I found my new Monalisa in that kid,I hope you find yours soon too..


PS:: This post is in love for my camera,one year of having it and loving it. Also,to the awesome smile the hero (Jai) carries in the movie 'Engeyum Eppothum'(I did not like the movie so much,one half of it was lame enough to ruin the other awesome half! :D ), I am recently in love with a song from that movie. And to all the other Monalisas(no gender barriers by the way)  out there.. Smile away to glory! When you find a glowing smile, just return one! Please! :)


PPS:: Smellyy cat.. smelly cat.. What are they feeding you!! :D (And that is just some Phoebe-craziness!)

A Letter is a Joy, No doubt!

Well this is going to be weird. For the first time since I started blogging, I felt like sharing something really personal, as a 
testimony to a wonderful friend I have! Chinni Chintu! Yeah, she rocks! :D


For this to make any sense, I ll have to fill you in, May 15th 2011, the last day at BITS Pilani,we were bidding farewell to each other when Chinni said, we should write to each other and stay in touch not only through calls and mails, it will be nice to have something to save, in an unconventional way. After 3 months in Bangalore, when I left to Delhi, I started writing to her! Here goes..

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Dear Chinni, 21st March 2012
Wednesday, 19:48


When I first wrote to you,even when I was to write a simple letter I was scared stiff as if faced with looming seasickness. I am writing this letter in a very very very very.. yeah, keep that going for 2 days and you ll get to.. right about how happy I am, right now. Well, here it is.. Sometime around Nov 15th last year, I was reading the newspaper and underlining away to glory (yeah, thats what I do now! ;) ), when I saw this headline about a boeing crashing down in Haryana,saying one of the cockpit pilots lost his life, that was also the time around which I started writing letters to you.. I got the details of the guild which he belonged to, and wrote down a condolence.. Well, it was not a war, but I just felt like writing. Today, I got a postcard, I think it would be more appropriate to say, a 'Thank you' note saying that the letter meant something to the family. I am very happy seeing the reply!It is beyond me!I just read it with a grin from ear to ear! I did not expect that a 'postcard' would make me so happy! Walking on air, I must say! I owe this to you, Chinni! You made me take interest in writing to you, whatever it might be about.If memory serves me correctly,today, in the 6 months I have been writing to you, for the first time, I feel like I am writing something that is worth the postage. Elated, I am! This feeling is oddly unsettling! Love you Chinni, you are one person who just brings the best out of me! Love does not come to you only through calls, e-mails, msgs and Facebook,I would love to write something that is worth reading, and if not, something atleast worth the postage.. It is good to know that someone is ready to read what you wrote,even if it is not worth reading and that it is always means a lot to them! Love you Chinni, for not letting me give up my old habits for the new..! :) I know, I ll love reading them even 50 years from now because, Its good to know, someone remembers and treasures your handwriting.. Leaving behind, a value legacy!
Love,
Ravali (Snug as a bug in a rug!)


PS: I ran out of inland covers the other day, and when I went to the post office and asked for 20 of them. I got one of the weirdest stares I ever got!Call me old fashioned,but I am learning to write! It feels good!
Out of ink now,till I next write to you then! Take care..


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To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.

A Happily Ever After...

Let me first tell you how this started.. :D
I was bored and so tried editing my Google account information when there was this question:

"A thing that google can't help you with.."
I did not even pause and think... Don't know how, may be it was deep down there.. And I filled the tab.. 'In finding out a happily ever after!' Though not here to speak about philosophy (That is not me already! May be there is a lot of time for me to write on that! ;) ) What I wanted to tell was.. I was puzzled about the spontaneity with which I could answer that!! No holding back! Most of the stories I read and admired almost always ended with a happy note.. So, may be, I thought, that's where this blog should start.. With a happily ever after..

For the next 15 minutes after I saved my google account information...
My thoughts.. I always anticipated of how it should be.. The happily ever after..


This anticipation must have started when my father read out "... And they lived happily ever after" before kissing me goodnight.. That was a perfect life then, I thought.. 'this' must be the happily ever after... Not long before I realized.. Nothing remained the same.. School, small fights for crayons, tantrums for a Chocolate, that big red plastic ball, sports day at school, the drama I was in, birthdays, piggy banks.. And the thing is that, at every point, I blissfully thought 'Uhh!! This is the happily ever after! :) ' But it was not!! That was not the happily ever after!


Or it might have started at that time when I secretly read those novels with a happy ending before the next day dawned and Everything changed from school.. As it always did, College came and only things that mattered were ranks, marks and grades! And definitely that was not my happily ever after!! The restless mind ranted whenever there was a mishap.. Very few or may be wait.. There were no incidents at all when I thought 'Awww! This is life!!' In those two years!!

Perhaps it started when i was happily entering this life, the campus life.. with the craving to find out if that was the happily ever after!! Friends forever, late night chats.. blah blah blah **Don’t want to sound more cliched here!! (It will make me feel nostalgic and I may forget that I have one more semester to let these things entice me like they always did!! :D)
But at the end of it.. Perhaps that was not the happily ever after either.. Coz now I Find myself awaiting yet another phase!!







Or may be it started when I asked my then recently married cousin.. 'Is this your happily ever after ?' and he answered 'No..' Bad move, I know. But I verified it!! Genuine? Check! :D And that was because all the fairy tales I grew up listening to,ended with that note..!! (You may laugh,even I was grinning when I was asking that) ;) :D
But I think I realize that the thing is it took 19 long years for me to understand that.. Everything changes, Forever is too good to be true, and that Change is the essence of life! And that change is good, rather, awesome! 
For, in this cycle of life, I now believe that, that innocent thought of 'Aww! This is happily ever after..' Whenever I tasted a candy 16 years back is just true.. Yeah, there must be that happily ever after in everything that makes you truly happy. Because, everything changes, Life is not a fairy tale. It is much n=more beautiful, because the most important things in life remain just the same, come what may! :) Or may be a hope for change is what makes us strong enough to endure what is not meant to be or may be meant to be!


After all, Google can't always help us.. ;)
Some things should be figured out by oneself!!
Moreover, Happiness is not a destination its the journey.. And Memories are bliss!! :)
The savour of bliss.. Never lost!!
Basked them,
Always have.. Ever more!!!